Breaking the Fast: Day 1 - 2: Eating Mindfully

DAY 1

Menu: Probiotics, fresh squeezed OJ, and Naked brand bottled OJ (eck.)

At last!  The cleanse is over.  I have to admit.  I'm a little disappointed in myself.  This is the longest cleanse I have ever gone on.  22 days, homies.  22.

I'm not disappointed that I didn't last long enough.  I'm disappointed that I didn't utilize the time to really delve spiritually and utilize the benefits that the cleanse can bring to the mind, heart, and soul.  I totally went into this cleanse with the purpose of losing weight for my wedding and as a result, I didn't really check in with myself as much as I could have because my motivation was not completely thought through.  I did lose a lot of weight, which I'm pleased about.  But the next time I do this, I have to remember to take advantage of the way my mind and body feels in order to cultivate my spiritual practice.

You win some.  You lose some.


DAY 1:
Anyway.  Day 1 was tough for me.  I drank fresh squeezed OJ mixed with water and a scoop of probiotics from Whole Foods that a lady that worked there recommended for coming off of a fast.  But I felt cravings and hunger the whole day.  I also didn't drink enough water.  I really just wanted to get to Day 2 so that I could chew something!  While I was at Whole Foods, I bought two beautiful mangoes for Day 2!

Day 2:
Today I cut up half of the mango.  It wasn't completely ripe yet but it was sweet enough.  I cubed it and it took me about 2 hours to finish it.  That was breakfast.  It was so delicious.  Sweet.  Juicy.  Running down my mouth.  I love this part of coming off the fast.  The sensation of food and the explosion of flavors in my mouth.

Last year, I went on a silent retreat and during mealtimes, we were encouraged to eat mindfully.  Taking every bite and paying attention to all the aspects of eating in the present moment.  Quite honestly, at the beginning of the retreat, it seemed a little bit "too much".  I mean, it was just eating, after all.  But after a few days on the retreat, eating mindfully became an incredible and transformational experience.  The food magically became the best food I have ever eaten and I had such a sense of well being and peace through the act of eating.  That feeling has remained with me.  I don't always eat mindfully, but when I remember to, I am washed over by waves of that decadent feeling.

I ate my mango in this way and the mango felt almost like medicine to my heart.

I'm feeling very much at peace right now.  It's only 9:03 am so we'll see what the rest of the day brings.

Also, Someone is baking cookies and I can smell the chocolate chip deliciousness wafting in through my open window.

6:46 PM

Oh my goodness.  I went to Cafe Gratitude today and ordered the "I am honoring" raw vegan nachos. It was takeout and I couldn't even wait until I got into the car.  I had a few bites on the way.

Undescribable.

The cashew nacho cheese. The sunflower seed pate.  The guacamole.  It was all incredible.

I've been snacking on that the whole day.  And I just love it.  I love that I'm eating again. I'm enjoying food so very much.  On the way to Cafe Gratitude, I had to walk by a famous pizza join in Berkeley, called Cheeseboard - and I wasn't craving the pizza.  I was more excited about the raw food!

I just drank a whole bunch of water and I'm feeling a little bloated.  I don't know if I ate too much.  It was truly only a few bitefuls at a time.  But I'm not hungry.  My lower back is hurting a little bit.

But I'm happy to have eaten real food!  I had this sense of wellbeing and peace after eating.  I felt really satisfied and happy.

Good Day 2!

Day 22: unprepared

I totally forgot to get more lemons.

Oops.

Luckily, I have about 20oz of leftover from yesterday to get me by before I go and get my much needed supplies.

I think today is my last day.  I'm gonna make a run to whole foods to get the stuff needed to ease out of the cleanse.  I'm also going to scope out what raw foods they have available.

Luckily, Cafe Gratitude is not so far from here, either.  They are a local raw food restaurant that I haven't been to for years but have now reawakened a natural craving for.

The SWF is truly the thing that  is the worst aspect of the Master Cleanse.  I only did about 16 oz before I gagged and told myself, "That is it."

I am feeling run down today and I don't have as much energy.  I am going to take it easy and relax a little bit.

Day 8 - Day 21

Day 8 - Day 21

Whoah.  That was fast.

Dude.  I'm on Day 21.  I apologize for not blogging.

But in summary.  I didn't really know how long I was going to go on this fast.  I was thinking I would maybe try 14 days.  Then I just kept going.

I try to check how I feel every day to see if I should continue.  So far so good.  I have decided to end my fast either tommorrow or the day after tommorrow.  The main reason being that I have my bridal shower to attend in 6 days and I need time to ease out of such a long fast.

I've noticed that I've lost a significant amount of weight.  Other people have noticed, too! And I've also been able to fit into my skinniest jeans.  Good news for me.

I decided to bring out my dreaded scale and something weird happened.  I gained 4 pound overnight and it has remained constant at that weight.

 I forgot how much I dislike scales.

Anyway.  I've totally been cheating this fast.  I skipped doing the SWF two days in a row (!).  I did that a couple of times. And I've been skipping out completely on the cayenne.

I think because my motivation is mainly to lose weight.  It's not the best motivation, I know.  And so my actions reflect that.

The last couple of days have been tough.  I've been torturing myself by watching youtube recipes.  My favorite right now is this Korean chef named Maangchi.  I want to eat everything she cooks!

AAAAAAHHHH.  I can't wait to end the cleanse.  I think I'm done.

It's a tough mental game to go this long.

Master Cleanse Day 7: ZOO

Today is Labor Day and I went to the zoo with TD and my goddaughter and her parents.  I'm Buddhist, and my goddaughter's family is Buddhist, so technically it's my Buddha-daughter.

So Buddha-mother and Buddha-daughter hung out at the San Francisco Zoo today.

It was HOT in the bay area.  So we walked around while the sun pounded down on us.   I felt a little tired walking around but I wasn't sure if it was because of the heat or because of the master cleanse.

Buddha-daughter's mother is pregnant and she was also feeling the heat and tired as well.

So it wasn't just me.

Day 7 has, so far, been fine. At the zoo, my super human smell senses awakened to the many, um, "fragrances" available to one at a place where animals are kept.  The flamingo exhibit was particularly pungent for me.

We walked around and as long as I wasn't around food, I was ok.  There are a million cafes at the zoo and we walked past one that has big fat juicy burgers served with big fat juicy french fries.  There was a family going to town on the burgers and I wanted one so incredible badly in that moment.  I could smell the intoxicating oil of the fries.

But then we kept walking, and I was fine.  I did have to take a double swig of my lemonade to calm my very active tummy at that point.

Once we got home, I was tired enough to take a 30 minute nap.

I'm awake now and the neighbors are BBQ'ing and it smells divine.  TD is in the kitchen cooking dinner.  I can't wait to smell what it is!

Master Cleanse Day 3: YAAAAAAS

Day 3.

Feeling niiice.

I don't know if I've just done a lot of these cleanses and I'm used to it.  But the days are flying.

The only time I'm really in a bad situation is when I get a whiff of whatever is cooking in the kitchen.  And even that's not so bad.

I've been super busy wedding planning, so that may be what's alleviating all the usual cravings.   I just don't have the time to think about food.

My day went like this:

SWF - 16 oz. No gagging.  That's a big WIN for me.

I brought someone to the airport today and we were super late.  We literally ran through the terminals trying to get on the plane (My friend made it, barely.  He was the last to board.  They were about to close the doors and he made it!)

Anyway, all that running didn't phase me.  My energy levels are great.  In fact, better than when I'm eating because I don't crash as much.

The only thing is that I didn't sleep very well last night. I woke up at 2am and didn't go back to sleep until 4am.

But today my energy was stable and really good.

Day 4-6: BBQ's and more!

Well.  The last 4 days have flown by!  Here's a little rundown of my whole situation.

DAY 4
Honestly, I think this time around, I've really habituated to being on the cleanse.  Day 4 was completely and utterly uneventful.  I am only getting about 16oz of the dreaded SWF down before I start to gag.  So I let it be.

All in all.  Day 4 - EASY.

DAY 5
Ok.

Just kidding.

On Day 5 I was tired all day.  I am not drinking the recommended 60 oz. because I think I'm just lazy.  My stomach rumbles and I try to pay attention, but I've been so crazy busy with wedding planning that it just doesn't seem to register as important on my "thangs I gotta git done" list.  Not the healthiest attitude, I know.  I recognize that.  I accept it.  I'll try to do better.

DAY 6
This day was the toughest.  I went to a BBQ potluck today.  Everyone brought incredible homemade dishes, mostly indian or himalayan in nature.  And they all smelled and looked incredible.  To top it all off, there was BBQ!  And the icing on the proverbial cake, was some dude showed up with KFC (win!).

I'll just go ahead and post these pics from the potluck to torture myself more:

delicious potatoes cooked in masala spices

glorious glorious bbq

homemade tibetan flatbread. dead.

beef biryani

.

chana masala

ting momo

laphing

chicken drumsticks cooked with just a bunch of yummy things

It awakened the crave monster in me and it was very difficult to watch everyone eat all this amazing food.  I especially craved the chicken drumsticks.  I kept imagining myself biting into a chewy meaty part of the drumstick.  It's making me salivate right now.

I took a walk during the picnic and I felt quite at peace (once I wasn't around the food anymore).  It reminded me of my experience while I was on a silent retreat for a week last year.  I love that aspect of the fast.

Ok.  Until manana.

Master Cleanse Day 2: Epsom Salt Bath and Tongue Situation

Day 2 and I'm feeling fine.

I swear. The worst part of this fast is the SWF.  In past cleanses, I have been able to get to at least 20 oz.  This go around, I'm only doing about 16 oz.  I don't know what it is.

I.

just.

can't.

do.

it.


So I drank 16oz of that warm salty.  And about 30 minutes later, the rain of terror came.

I'm exaggerating.  Just the usual liquid gold.  Nothing unusual.

I'm typing this as TD, my fiancee, is eating his famous homemade biryani for dinner.  It smells incredible.  I can almost taste it myself.

Anyway, I'm noticing on this cleanse that although my tongue is funky, it is not as bad as past cleanses!  That is so very deeply satisfying.  It gives me a little faith in the cumulative effect of doing these cleanses over the course of a few years.

To end the evening, I took a deliciously hot epsom salt bath and soaked for about 30 minutes.  It got my heart pumping and I was completely relaxed afterwards.  Highly reccomended.

So that's it.  Put Day 2 in the books.  Uneventful.  And I like it like that!

Master Cleanse Day 1: Meh

Day 1.  Uneventful.

I woke up ready to go.  I got my saltwater flush and, as expected, only managed to chug about half of it only.  I gagged twice.  It was on the cooler side, so I think I'll try to make a warmer batch tommorrow.

The SWF did it's thing.

And I made my lemonade.

The first half of the day was completely fine.  I had meetings, did work, drove - all with normal energy levels.

But by 4pm - I started to crash.  I got home and took a nap.  I don't usually take naps. I was feeling tired.  I still am feeling tired and I have a slight headache.  It's about 8:30 in the evening and I could easily turn in for the night.

One thing - I omitted the cayenne pepper from today's lemonade thinking I would so some cayenne lemonade shots at some point.

Fail.

I guess I'll just have to bring the cayenne pepper with me tommorrow.  It's just too spicy to drink all day for me.

All in all, nothing major but feeling a little low on this first day.  It's to be expected.

Buenos Noches.

The night before Cleanse-mas.

2015 and it's time for another round of the Master Cleanse!

I start tommorow and I'm looking forward to it!  Since last we parted ways, dear readers of this outdated blog (all 2 of you), my dietary habits have roller coastered.  I've had periods of just not caring what I put into my body as well as various periods of veganism, vegetarianism, coffee binging, coffee abstaining, wine drinking, wine not-drinking.

All in all, I think it evens out to semi-clean eating these last two years.  As a result, I'm semi-plump.

And I need to de-plump because, guess what!

I'm getting married!  Me and TD (I introduced him in the last cleanse) are going for it and I couldn't be happier.

I've been on a ketogenic diet and reduced my caffeine intake in the last few weeks and I am happy to say not only have I lost a little bit of weight, I've also gotten rid of sugar cravings and any dependency I had on coffee.

So I think I may be going into this cleanse a little stronger than I have on past cleanses.  My goal is to look nice in my wedding dress.  I have to admit.  It's mostly superficial this time around.  I'm looking forward to clarity of mind and the light feeling I get from the cleanse as well.

So join me on this journey and we'll see you tommorrow!

Master Cleanse Day 9: Huh. That's weird.

I am typing this as TD is eating homemade chow mein with beef, shitake mushrooms, chili, and leafy green vegetables.  I have the strongest urge to shove it all in my face.

But that's why I'm writing.  So I can distract myself.

Today started out so strange.  My stomach has been rumbling pretty loudly the last couple of days.  I had never experienced this kind of tummy activity on previous cleanses.  I woke up to get ready for my daily SWF making activities but I was interrupted by the sudden urge to have a movement.  I went to the bathroom and was surprised  by what ... um...went down.

It was semi-solid!  I was kinda shocked and disturbingly obessed with examining it.  I just looked at it in awe. I have read about passing something called the mucoid plaque in other blogs during the latter phases of a cleanse.  Typically it's described as dark, stringlike, and in one piece.  Mine wasn't too dark but it did kind of come out like a string that got broken in the process.  It didn't look like the stuff I have witnessed on other blogs but there was a good amount of stuff there. I have no idea where it came from!!!  I guess it was the lining?  All I know that it was deeply satisfying to realize that I had purged that from my system.  It was like winning the lottery.

The poop lottery.

My mind had been completely taken over by cravings the last couple of days but post-poop, I lost the urge to eat completely.  No cravings the entire day.  Until dinner started cooking, that is.  Once I got a whiff of that, the crave monster awoke.  And she hasn't been able to go back to sleep ever since.

I just keep chugging away on my special lemonade.  I would love a warm meal right now, though.

Tommorow is Day 10!  YES.

Master Cleanse: Day 8

I almost threw up during my SWF this morning.  I only made it to 16oz before gagging and nausea hit me strong.  I had to pause and lay down for a good 15 minutes to allow the nausea to subside.  TD looked at me sorrowfully and rubbed my feet while I lay down.  I think that helped a lot.

Today my tummy continued to grumble all day.  I don't remember if this happened the last cleanse, but I'm definitely noticing it now.  There's a lot of activity in that region.  Hope it means something good.

I started out this cleanse with no real cravings but they are definitely back!  Today dinner in the apartment is chicken tinola.  It's a filipino dish made up of chicken, green papaya, ginger, and seasoned with fish sauce. It is delicious. And I can smell it from here.  And I want it so badly.

Well only a few more days before I can eat real food!  I'm looking forward to it.

I bought some probiotics today for my ease out period.  I read about it on a blog and thought it would be a good idea.  I took some after I went on a round of antibiotics a few years ago and I remember it making me really regular.  So I stocked up on Culturelle.  I chose that brand because there was a $5 automatic store gift card generated when you bought it.  Hopefully it's a good one.

One good thing is that my tongue seems to be a little bit clearer than it was a few days ago.  It's still in the dragon category, though.  This is the first time during any cleanse that I've noticed any clearing  of the gross nastyness that is my tongue.  It only took 4 cleanses!  Ha!  I wonder if I'll make it to pink by the last day.  Fingers crossed!

Master Cleanse Day 7

Man.  I can't wait to eat.  I don't necessarily think about food all the time but when I get a whiff of something or see a picture of something tasty my mind goes into overdrive and I become obsessed with the thought of food until I catch myself.

This is tough work.  Much more tough mentally than physically.  Craving is truly a strong mental habit that's tough to break.  It takes something major like a cleanse to reset tendencies towards unhealthy eating, at least for me it does.

I finally felt like going on a run today.  It's great to be outside and get my heart pumping.  My energy for the runs are good.  I do easy jogs just to get a little cardio in.  I think that's what pumps up my appetite.

On that note, my stomach has been rumbling all day today and making strange noises.  It's trying to talk to me.  I am giving it the silent treatment but it's not working.

Day 7 is all about craving and desire.  And it's almost finally over!  I can't wait.

As far as weight loss, I can definitely see it in the way my clothes are fitting that I'm dropping the pounds.  A good thing!

Master Cleanse Day 6: Epsom Salt Bath!

Today I was irritable, weepy, and everything in between.  I also had some bouts with nausea and a little dizziness.  All normal for the cleanse.  Unwanted, but normal.

I decided to try to make myself feel better by soaking in a hot epsom salt bath in the evening.  I thought it would help bring the toxins out quicker and thus speed up this "healing event".  It was the first time I've ever tried an epsom salt bath and all I can say is YES. YES. YES.

I read online that a lot of master cleansers do it and the recipe I used went something like:

Fill bath with hottest water you can stand

Add two cups of Epsom Salt 

Add one cup baking soda 

Add few drops lavender oil

Sit in the bath for 15-40 minutes

The epsom salts are supposed to draw toxins out as well as provide the body with magnesium, something that the interwebs says most Americans don't have enough of.  The baking soda alkalizes an acidic body (i.e. unhealthy).  The lavender oil is aromatherapy to lower stress and cortisol levels (which tend to rise during a cleanse).

I ended up adding way more epsom salt then the recipe called for.  I just wanted to make sure I was really drawing out impurities.

After sitting in the bathtub for about 30 minutes, I got up and felt a little lightheaded.  It was amazing though.   Imagine being drunk and exhausted at the same time. My body was completely relaxed. I got dressed, drank a whole bunch of water, and went straight to bed even though it was only 8:30pm.  

Once in bed, I just read.  I could have fallen asleep but I thought it was too early.  Later on though, I awoke from my epsom salt bath stupor and then couldn't sleep until midnight.  I then went into a very deep sleep and woke up completely refreshed at 6am.  Sufficed to say, I will be getting into a bath again sometime soon.

Master Cleanse Day 5: BRRRRRR!!!

I got chills.  They're muliplyin'.

I was super cold today.  There has been a heat wave for the last few days up in the Bay Area but the fog started to roll in today and I was not prepared as far as outfit choices go.  I rocked a short mini dress to go shopping this fine Sunday afternoon and it was most definitely not short-mini-dress-rocking weather.  I felt weak and cold the entire shopping excursion.  On the bright side, I hooked myself up with some sweet sale items.

As far as cleansing related matters go, I only managed 16 oz of the SWF but it did the job right.  I had the usual movements - dark and watery (butt pee).  My dragon breath has also returned and I asked the boyfriend if he noticed.  He was so sweet and answered, "No, I don't notice anything."

Right.

Plus one for the boyfriend.   Another plus he gets is for making a nice smelling dinner with beef, vegetables, and Kraft american cheese.

Yup.

Kraft. American. Cheese.

I know it sounds like a weird dish but he's from a Himalayan region and they eat this cheesy soup dish that is actually pretty good.  No one in America sells the cheese that they use in the Himalayas so he uses Kraft because "it melts good".  I enjoyed the smell of it so much. My cravings have definitely kicked in. I want to chew on something warm.  Right now.

Today was a mediocre day on the cleanse.  Not feeling the best, but not my worst either.

Master Cleanse Day 4: Me So Hungry

I had a dream last night that consisted of me going out with a group of friends and eating a delicious Indian dinner.  For dessert I had a triple layer pink cake with pink frosting.  Towards the end of the dream, I remembered that I was on a cleanse and wasn't supposed to be eating anything and panicked.  Then I woke up.

Shew.  It was just a dream.

But then this evening, I actually ended up going to a Nepali restaurant!  This is what was consumed:

-butter naan

-daal

-palak paneer

-basmati rice

-lamb kheema (it's like a nepali style piroshki with ground lamb)

Interesting coincidence, no?

One of my friends is leaving to go back to the east coast for grad school and we had a farewell dinner for him.  I contemplated not going but I wanted to spend some time with him before he left so I braved it and went.

Day 4 has been my hardest day so far. That dream had me thinking about food all day. That followed by exposure to this amazing dinner totally pushed my buttons.  The different smells seriously got me wanting food SO BADLY.  

During dinner while everyone was eating, I was so obsessed with the smells that I began to concoct recipes of things I would cook after the cleanse.  I was also visualizing all the food I would eat.  Piroshkis and pizza, specifically.  At one point during the dinner though, I actually became aware of my obsessive fixation with the food and the very act of resting in that awareness released me of binding thoughts.  

I guess my meditation practice is good for something.

I also went for a run again today and it felt great!  No exhaustion.  No tiredness.  I am not experiencing any of the "lows" and "highs" on this cleanse.  Emotionally, I feel very stable.  My energy is also very stable.  All good things.  The only thing that really threw me for a loop was this dinner tonight.

Craving is such a powerful mental force.  It seems that so much of my time is attempting to satisfy some sort of craving, whether it's food or anything else.  In actuality, there's not much that one needs to sustain the body.  I will definitely explore these sensations more during the cleanse.

Master Cleanse: Day 3

I came out of the Master Cleanse closet and posted a vid about it on my Instagram account today.  If you don't know what Instagram is, I forgive you because you're still reading this outdated blog.
Anyway check it out:

I exercised for the first time today since the start of my cleanse and it felt oh so good.  I ran a very slow 3 miles.  I always run very slow so that's not surprising.  What was surprising was that I could have kept going. I had a bunch of energy still and wasn't too out of breath. I've definitely had bad run days and I thought today was going to be one of those.  You know, the one where every step is drudgery and not even your kick ass spotify playlist can get your butt into gear.  Today was not one of those days.  It actually felt pretty easy.  Go figure. I am loving this cleanse!

Day 3 has totally been like Day 1 and 2.  Nothing crazy happening up in my bowels or in my head.  I feel fine and my energy levels are up.  I am also sleeping deeper.  I messed up my circadian rhythm a couple of weeks ago and had been waking up at 3am for no reason.  It has completely stopped with this cleanse and I'm grateful for it.

I also had to pick up more lemons and more grade B maple syrup.  I got it at the local organic grocery store and the cashier immediately recognized my products and said, "Master Cleanse?".  She did it last year for 5 days.  The bagger was a teenager and was completely aghast. "You mean you don't eat ANY food?!  Like no food at all?!"

I guess it's kind of a superpower to not eat food and be fine.

No I take that back.  You know what's a REAL superpower?

Being able to smell what is cooking in the kitchen and even know what spices are being used.

My superhuman smell is back.  On my run this morning, I even smelled what some people were cooking in their apartments and homes.  If you're an MC'er you know what I'm talking about.

The funny part is that I don't have the strong craving reaction to these smells that I'm used to having on this cleanse.

I believe that the mind is the root of everything but I am also witnessing firsthand how the body can influence the mind.  Or is it that my mind is controlling how my body reacts.  Or...

Let's see if I'm this deep tommorrow.

Master Cleanse Day 2: Making Peace with SWF

Ok, for real though.  I'm not a fan of the SWF.  It's become my reason for dreading getting up in the morning.  I only drank 16 oz of the recommended 32 oz.  

I. just. couldn't. do. it.

If I had gulped anymore down, I would have thrown up.  It's just the sheer volume of the stuff that gets me. It doesn't taste horrible.  It kind of reminds me of Tibetan butter tea which I have drunken (drunk?  dranken?  someone conjugate this one for me) copious amounts of in Tibet and here at home.  It's just too much to force into my body in too short a time.

So I've decided to let my body win this war against the SWF.  I'm no longer going to try to get 32 full oz.  When my body says "Stop, homegirl." I'm going to stop.  It's too much of a mental battle to deal with in the morning, you know what I'm saying? And making that decision had brought me great peace.  No more war.

Namaste.

The amount of SWF that I managed to get down got the job done.  If your squeamish, don't read the next paragraph because I'm going to get detailed.  

*********************COMMENCE GROSS PART OF BLOG***************************

I know you'd like to think your sh*t don't stank

But lean a little bit closer

See that roses really smell like poo-ooh-ooh

Yeah, roses really smell like poo-ooh-ooh

-Andre 3000 of Outkast from the song "Roses"

If Andre 3000 is right, and I have never personally know him to be wrong, then the results of my SWF were an especially fragrant and different brand of "rose".  It was dark.  Like black.  And it smelled toxic.  And unfamiliar.  In summary, it was straight nasty.  It came out like a black waterfall.  And I'm done talking about this.

Glad that old toxic stuff is outta here.

*******************FIN DE GROSS PART OF BLOG***********************************

As far as the rest of Day 2, I don't know what's going on, but I am not having a difficult time this round of the MC.  I don't have any particular cravings associated with my hunger pangs. I also am not suffering from any "healing events" as in cleanses past.  It could be a combination of things which I will outline for you:

1) I could be in a "good" phase of my meditation practice.  There's truly no good or bad when doing practice but there are phases when I'm in a very stable and peaceful state of mind.  I think I'm up in that bootch right now and it's keeping me copacetic. 

2)I cleansed last year so major healing events happened last time.  That is a total guess which I am pulling from my butt-peeing *ss.

3) I'm not looking up recipes online or watching the Food network this go around.  Big help.  Trust.  Don't do it.

There you have it.  

Day 2 is done.  Good night.

Master Cleanse Day 1: Time for things to go down.

Here I am again.  It's time for another round of the Master Cleanse.

It's been approximately a year and half since my last cleanse.  A lot has happened since then.  I went to India for several months on a long retreat in the town of Bodhgaya.  It was a physically challenging retreat and I ended up losing quite a bit of weight while there.  I have been back in America now for about 8 months and have definitely been more active since my return.  I go running and workout almost everyday.  My diet habits have gone up and done with periods of "clean eating" and periods of ... not-so-clean eating.  All in all though, I've been able to maintain my post India weight (give or take 5 pounds).  I should also explain that when I say "weight" I really have no idea what my weight is most of the time.  I just check to see if I fit in my jeans that week or not.  That being said, I'm not at my goal weight but I'm pleased that I've been able to maintain. I also feel much more energized with my current lifestyle.  

But it's about time for things to go down (both figuratively and literally).  I have about two weeks before I travel to Hawaii to be a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding.  I'm so looking forward to it.  But first, I must cleanse.

And today is DAY UNO.

Quite honestly, today was pretty easy.  I did my salt water flush a bit early this morning and all the memories came flooding back.  It's pretty much the thing I dread most about the cleanse.  But I did it.  I had enough time to take a nap after everything went... um... down.  During that light nap, I had a dream that I was eating guacamole.  I couldn't believe my cravings kicked in so early in the day already!  I hadn't even made my lemonade at that point.

During my lemonade making, I realized that I had run out of cayenne pepper.  So no spice in my lemonade today.  And honestly, it made it much easier to chug.  I think I'm going to just do cayenne lemonade shots like I did my last cleanse.

I took it super easy today.  I didn't workout and definitely did not exert myself physically.  I think it was smart.  I haven't had any dizzy spells.  I feel a little weaker than usual, but nothing major. I do have some hunger pangs, but they go away with a chug of the lemonade.  What's most surprising is that once I started drinking my lemonade,  I didn't have any cravings. I actually have felt pretty even keel all day.

This is quite different from last year's cleanse where I felt the entire cleanse was dominated by thoughts of everything I would eat afterwards.  It may have something do with my cycle.  I was probably PMS'ing during that time period.  I'm not sure.  All I know is that today was not a bad day.  I'm feeling a little weak and have the occasional hunger pang, but in general, I'm good.  Not craving anything and am quite content with how this cleanse has started.

Until manana then!

Breaking the fast: Day 4

Brekkie: half a mango
Snack: a piece of my hazelnut chocolate and some a cheezy kale chip
Lunch: half of a Caesar salad, 1.5 slices of the Amatriciana pizza from Osteria Coppa in San Mateo.  It has: Guanciale, Tomato, Red Onion, Chilies, and Pecorino.
Snack: 1.5 nutella filled churrito that I baked, and half a vegan cookie from Trader Joe's
Dinner: half a mango and half a cup of oragnic peach yogurt


HA.  Day Four.  I wouldn't really consider this a part of the easing out period since I believe that I am out of the woods now and can eat my old variety of foods now.  And I went on a splurge today!  I had pizza and chocolate!  All in one day.  Hurray!  I did make a mistake though.   Although I was splurging today, I made a commitment to try and stay vegetarian for as long as possible.  My sister and I ordered an "Amatriciana" pizza which didn't appear to have anything from the meat department.  


Oops.  


Should've asked our server.   Apparently "Guanciale" is bacon.  Straight up bacon.  HA.  My sister ate the bacon but I pulled it off and left it on my plate.  No matter.  It was delicious.  Truly.  I also made some nutella filled churritos.  I HAD to make them.  I found the recipe during the latter portion of my fast and I knew I needed to have them in my mouth.  I made about 24 but I only ended up eating 1 and half.  It was delicious but thanks to the fast, I beleive I have broken (at least temporarily) my habit of scarfing down all and everything chocolate in sight.  I was really mindful of what I was tasting and it gave me a sense so satisfaction.  So much so, that I didn't feel the need  to eat any more.  Here's a picture of them:

Day Four.  I think I'm good now.  Let the (healthy) eating of real food commence!

Breaking the fast: Day 1-3

Ok. So here I am on the third day of easing out of my Master Cleanse.

Here's a synopsis of my ease out so far: Day 1:
Orange juice all day baby. The first sip of that glorious orange juice tasted like nectar ambrosia. I truly enjoyed savoring each particular nuance of flavor it had to offer of me. Compared to the lemonade, this was rich in levels of flavor and texture. Sweet and tangy, cold and refreshing. I sipped on it all day but all I could think about was getting the day over with so that I could finally eat something warm!! But I Finished Day 2 with no problems.

Day 2:
Brekkie - 1 nectarine (eaten over 5 hours)
Lunch - 1 peach
Snack - a few bites of nectarine and a few bites of a raw food cone from the Raw Daddy stand at the Saturday Berkeley Farmers Market.
Dinner - half a mango. The very act of chewing and swallowing is paradise.

Day 2 was great. The fruits were so delicious. I particularly savored the mango. I love love love mango. I picked that up on a shopping excursion to Ranch 99. I doubt that it's organic but I knew I had to have the damn thing. And it was good. TD works at the Farmers Market and the booth next to him is a raw food vendor. He picked up a raw food cone for me. The cone consists of seeds and it was filled with shredded cabbage, mangoes, cashews and a vinaigrette. I only had a few bites but I enjoyed it. I ate everything slowly, only taking a few bites every half hour or so. I just read a website that said that the goal is to eat many many small meals and gradually work one's way to larger meals that are more spaced out. I've been craving something warm and I hope to make an Ayurvedic dish called kitchari in the near future. It is a cleansing food as as well composed of mung beans and basmati rice, flavored with spices.

Day 3:
Brekkie - half a glorious mango Not sure what else I'm going to eat today but I'd like to try something warm. I haven't had a bowel movement yet so I'm waiting for that, too.

 3:42 A lot has happened since this morning.

Ok, well, maybe not a lot but some major things went down (from my perspective).

I had a bowel movement.

Yes!

I think it was the mango. Thank you, mister mango. Thank you so much.

I also went to the Berkeley Temescal Farmers Market and visited TD's booth. I hadn't eaten anything since my half a mango this morning so I felt some hunger pangs. He offered me some of his food and I did it. I went for real food. I had: Basmati rice and vegetable curry (two celery slices, two cauliflower stalks, 2 slices of tofu) all in a coconut curry sauce. It was indescribable. I could taste every single spice and the warmth of it in my mouth spread throughout my whole body. That is what paradise must be like. I asked TD to only give me tiny tiny scoops of the rice and curry. He didn't put it on their regular plates but instead scooped it into a small container (think the red and white paper things they sticks hot dogs in at BBQ's). I only ate the veggies at first, being careful to chew each bite thoroughly. It took me about fifteen minutes to eat a portion I could have easily eaten in two bites. Then I thought I would walk around the farmers market for a bit. The thing about the Temescal farmers market is that it's like an organic gourmet version of Costco at lunchtime. Everyone offers free samples. I was already feeling satiated but I just had to try some of the stuff being offered.

So please add this to the food diary today:
 - tiny bite of falafel
- small pita chip dipped in yogurt and chives
- a Balgoni (I think that's what it was called).

Honestly, I can't remember the name but it's some sort of pastry stuffed with spinach that is very tin. It was topped with yogurt and jalapeño jam. Only a small bite. THEN I returned to Tenzin's booth and finished off the basmati curried rice. Everything was delicious. I'm feeling full now. I think it was the rice. I'm not uncomfortably full but I definitely have a feeling that there is stuff in my belly. It's an odd sensation.

I haven't felt this way in a long time and I have lost that light feeling. I may have overdid it but I don't have any regrets. I don't have any cramping or anything of that sort at all. I just feel full-ish.

But wait, there's more.

I went and bought some ingredients for a vegan cutlet I'm going to attempt to make at Trader Joe's and the local natural foods store here. Besides my necessary items, I also bought cheesy kale chips (vegan) and a hazelnut chocolate bar. As soon as I got home, I had one leaf of the cheesy kale chip and it was pretty good. But the highlight of my day was the little piece of hazelnut chocolate that I ate, like, five minutes ago. Creamy with a light crunch from the toasted hazelnut. That was damn good.