The night before Cleanse-mas.

2015 and it's time for another round of the Master Cleanse!

I start tommorow and I'm looking forward to it!  Since last we parted ways, dear readers of this outdated blog (all 2 of you), my dietary habits have roller coastered.  I've had periods of just not caring what I put into my body as well as various periods of veganism, vegetarianism, coffee binging, coffee abstaining, wine drinking, wine not-drinking.

All in all, I think it evens out to semi-clean eating these last two years.  As a result, I'm semi-plump.

And I need to de-plump because, guess what!

I'm getting married!  Me and TD (I introduced him in the last cleanse) are going for it and I couldn't be happier.

I've been on a ketogenic diet and reduced my caffeine intake in the last few weeks and I am happy to say not only have I lost a little bit of weight, I've also gotten rid of sugar cravings and any dependency I had on coffee.

So I think I may be going into this cleanse a little stronger than I have on past cleanses.  My goal is to look nice in my wedding dress.  I have to admit.  It's mostly superficial this time around.  I'm looking forward to clarity of mind and the light feeling I get from the cleanse as well.

So join me on this journey and we'll see you tommorrow!

Master Cleanse Day 9: Huh. That's weird.

I am typing this as TD is eating homemade chow mein with beef, shitake mushrooms, chili, and leafy green vegetables.  I have the strongest urge to shove it all in my face.

But that's why I'm writing.  So I can distract myself.

Today started out so strange.  My stomach has been rumbling pretty loudly the last couple of days.  I had never experienced this kind of tummy activity on previous cleanses.  I woke up to get ready for my daily SWF making activities but I was interrupted by the sudden urge to have a movement.  I went to the bathroom and was surprised  by what ... um...went down.

It was semi-solid!  I was kinda shocked and disturbingly obessed with examining it.  I just looked at it in awe. I have read about passing something called the mucoid plaque in other blogs during the latter phases of a cleanse.  Typically it's described as dark, stringlike, and in one piece.  Mine wasn't too dark but it did kind of come out like a string that got broken in the process.  It didn't look like the stuff I have witnessed on other blogs but there was a good amount of stuff there. I have no idea where it came from!!!  I guess it was the lining?  All I know that it was deeply satisfying to realize that I had purged that from my system.  It was like winning the lottery.

The poop lottery.

My mind had been completely taken over by cravings the last couple of days but post-poop, I lost the urge to eat completely.  No cravings the entire day.  Until dinner started cooking, that is.  Once I got a whiff of that, the crave monster awoke.  And she hasn't been able to go back to sleep ever since.

I just keep chugging away on my special lemonade.  I would love a warm meal right now, though.

Tommorow is Day 10!  YES.

Master Cleanse: Day 8

I almost threw up during my SWF this morning.  I only made it to 16oz before gagging and nausea hit me strong.  I had to pause and lay down for a good 15 minutes to allow the nausea to subside.  TD looked at me sorrowfully and rubbed my feet while I lay down.  I think that helped a lot.

Today my tummy continued to grumble all day.  I don't remember if this happened the last cleanse, but I'm definitely noticing it now.  There's a lot of activity in that region.  Hope it means something good.

I started out this cleanse with no real cravings but they are definitely back!  Today dinner in the apartment is chicken tinola.  It's a filipino dish made up of chicken, green papaya, ginger, and seasoned with fish sauce. It is delicious. And I can smell it from here.  And I want it so badly.

Well only a few more days before I can eat real food!  I'm looking forward to it.

I bought some probiotics today for my ease out period.  I read about it on a blog and thought it would be a good idea.  I took some after I went on a round of antibiotics a few years ago and I remember it making me really regular.  So I stocked up on Culturelle.  I chose that brand because there was a $5 automatic store gift card generated when you bought it.  Hopefully it's a good one.

One good thing is that my tongue seems to be a little bit clearer than it was a few days ago.  It's still in the dragon category, though.  This is the first time during any cleanse that I've noticed any clearing  of the gross nastyness that is my tongue.  It only took 4 cleanses!  Ha!  I wonder if I'll make it to pink by the last day.  Fingers crossed!

Master Cleanse Day 7

Man.  I can't wait to eat.  I don't necessarily think about food all the time but when I get a whiff of something or see a picture of something tasty my mind goes into overdrive and I become obsessed with the thought of food until I catch myself.

This is tough work.  Much more tough mentally than physically.  Craving is truly a strong mental habit that's tough to break.  It takes something major like a cleanse to reset tendencies towards unhealthy eating, at least for me it does.

I finally felt like going on a run today.  It's great to be outside and get my heart pumping.  My energy for the runs are good.  I do easy jogs just to get a little cardio in.  I think that's what pumps up my appetite.

On that note, my stomach has been rumbling all day today and making strange noises.  It's trying to talk to me.  I am giving it the silent treatment but it's not working.

Day 7 is all about craving and desire.  And it's almost finally over!  I can't wait.

As far as weight loss, I can definitely see it in the way my clothes are fitting that I'm dropping the pounds.  A good thing!

Master Cleanse Day 6: Epsom Salt Bath!

Today I was irritable, weepy, and everything in between.  I also had some bouts with nausea and a little dizziness.  All normal for the cleanse.  Unwanted, but normal.

I decided to try to make myself feel better by soaking in a hot epsom salt bath in the evening.  I thought it would help bring the toxins out quicker and thus speed up this "healing event".  It was the first time I've ever tried an epsom salt bath and all I can say is YES. YES. YES.

I read online that a lot of master cleansers do it and the recipe I used went something like:

Fill bath with hottest water you can stand

Add two cups of Epsom Salt 

Add one cup baking soda 

Add few drops lavender oil

Sit in the bath for 15-40 minutes

The epsom salts are supposed to draw toxins out as well as provide the body with magnesium, something that the interwebs says most Americans don't have enough of.  The baking soda alkalizes an acidic body (i.e. unhealthy).  The lavender oil is aromatherapy to lower stress and cortisol levels (which tend to rise during a cleanse).

I ended up adding way more epsom salt then the recipe called for.  I just wanted to make sure I was really drawing out impurities.

After sitting in the bathtub for about 30 minutes, I got up and felt a little lightheaded.  It was amazing though.   Imagine being drunk and exhausted at the same time. My body was completely relaxed. I got dressed, drank a whole bunch of water, and went straight to bed even though it was only 8:30pm.  

Once in bed, I just read.  I could have fallen asleep but I thought it was too early.  Later on though, I awoke from my epsom salt bath stupor and then couldn't sleep until midnight.  I then went into a very deep sleep and woke up completely refreshed at 6am.  Sufficed to say, I will be getting into a bath again sometime soon.

Master Cleanse Day 5: BRRRRRR!!!

I got chills.  They're muliplyin'.

I was super cold today.  There has been a heat wave for the last few days up in the Bay Area but the fog started to roll in today and I was not prepared as far as outfit choices go.  I rocked a short mini dress to go shopping this fine Sunday afternoon and it was most definitely not short-mini-dress-rocking weather.  I felt weak and cold the entire shopping excursion.  On the bright side, I hooked myself up with some sweet sale items.

As far as cleansing related matters go, I only managed 16 oz of the SWF but it did the job right.  I had the usual movements - dark and watery (butt pee).  My dragon breath has also returned and I asked the boyfriend if he noticed.  He was so sweet and answered, "No, I don't notice anything."

Right.

Plus one for the boyfriend.   Another plus he gets is for making a nice smelling dinner with beef, vegetables, and Kraft american cheese.

Yup.

Kraft. American. Cheese.

I know it sounds like a weird dish but he's from a Himalayan region and they eat this cheesy soup dish that is actually pretty good.  No one in America sells the cheese that they use in the Himalayas so he uses Kraft because "it melts good".  I enjoyed the smell of it so much. My cravings have definitely kicked in. I want to chew on something warm.  Right now.

Today was a mediocre day on the cleanse.  Not feeling the best, but not my worst either.

Master Cleanse Day 4: Me So Hungry

I had a dream last night that consisted of me going out with a group of friends and eating a delicious Indian dinner.  For dessert I had a triple layer pink cake with pink frosting.  Towards the end of the dream, I remembered that I was on a cleanse and wasn't supposed to be eating anything and panicked.  Then I woke up.

Shew.  It was just a dream.

But then this evening, I actually ended up going to a Nepali restaurant!  This is what was consumed:

-butter naan

-daal

-palak paneer

-basmati rice

-lamb kheema (it's like a nepali style piroshki with ground lamb)

Interesting coincidence, no?

One of my friends is leaving to go back to the east coast for grad school and we had a farewell dinner for him.  I contemplated not going but I wanted to spend some time with him before he left so I braved it and went.

Day 4 has been my hardest day so far. That dream had me thinking about food all day. That followed by exposure to this amazing dinner totally pushed my buttons.  The different smells seriously got me wanting food SO BADLY.  

During dinner while everyone was eating, I was so obsessed with the smells that I began to concoct recipes of things I would cook after the cleanse.  I was also visualizing all the food I would eat.  Piroshkis and pizza, specifically.  At one point during the dinner though, I actually became aware of my obsessive fixation with the food and the very act of resting in that awareness released me of binding thoughts.  

I guess my meditation practice is good for something.

I also went for a run again today and it felt great!  No exhaustion.  No tiredness.  I am not experiencing any of the "lows" and "highs" on this cleanse.  Emotionally, I feel very stable.  My energy is also very stable.  All good things.  The only thing that really threw me for a loop was this dinner tonight.

Craving is such a powerful mental force.  It seems that so much of my time is attempting to satisfy some sort of craving, whether it's food or anything else.  In actuality, there's not much that one needs to sustain the body.  I will definitely explore these sensations more during the cleanse.